I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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