i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
