i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
