i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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