I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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