I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
