I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
