He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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