I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
