Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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