she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I could fuck to npr.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
