Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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