My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
