We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
