He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
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