I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize