"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
