32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
