11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
