Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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