the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
the raccoons are back...
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