I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
