that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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