no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
