i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
