I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
