Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
How naked do you want me to be?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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