he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
