i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
