Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
