She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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