Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
