I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize