Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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