I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
