is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
