Since when is my name a synonym for head?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
