Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
