I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
