I CAN MOONWALK!
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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