Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
