whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
