those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
