Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I believe in your delicious
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
