I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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