This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
