Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
