He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
