The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
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