Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
third nipple confirmed
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
