I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
sex in a hospital.. check
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
