i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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