I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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