i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i came on her dog
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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