we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
