So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
