Porn is love you can see.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
