You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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