watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize