All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
