that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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