Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
