Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
