Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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