Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Your cock deserves a montage
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
