well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
