my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
