we're blogging at a bar
Define "chronic" masturbator.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
