I wanna passion pit in your ass
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
